There's a possibility
by bonesfan08
Summary: This is a one shot, but I welcome any authors brave enough to take it on to do so. I honestly wrote this to vent my own life but it worked kinda perfectly for me. This is an attempted suicide fic so if you are sensitive don't read it.


A/N Ok. I am pretty sure this will probably irritate people, but I honestly have been so overwhelmed emotionally that I just needed to allow myself to vent.

This is a "song fic" if you have not watched this full video for Lykke Li, I beg you to watch it, maybe even play it while you read. It is simply amazing and is so fitting.

anyway, this is a one shot and I hope that someone will adopt this story and finish it for me. (fyi i didn't spell check or reread, once again i simply wrote this to vent)

here is the full length for "Possibility" by Lykke Li: .com/watch?v=RvMeOllo_Vo

_There's a possibility_

_There's a possibility _

_All that I had was all I gon' get_

Am I going crazy?

It can't be that, can it? Everything seems so clear…it's really not illogical in the least…if it were logical, someone would have intervened by now and this decision would not have been necessary…

Maybe some will see it as a cowardice act but really it is natural in a situation like this where the mind simply cannot process or tolerate additional pain

_There's a possibility _

_There's a possibility _

_All I gon' get is gone with your step _

There really can be nothing in the future that could possibly compensate for what I have lost in the past…for what i have cost myself

_All I gon' get is gone with your step _

she studied the glass on the table.

Wiper fluid is almost undetectable in an autopsy, but it is also a horrible way to die…slowly and painfully shutting down each organ before ultimately completing it's purpose and stopping the heart.

_So tell me when you hear my heart stop,_

_You're the only who knows_

_Tell me when you hear my silence _

_There's a possibility _

_I wouldn't know _

Lately she had become more withdrawn, turning down invites, which she had been receiving less and less from her friends. She has shut down almost completely.

almost every thought was focused on her loss…not a physical loss necessarily…more of an emptiness.

once you give your heart so freely, so openly…it is almost impossible to repair it when it breaks

hers has certainly been broken, multiple times even…

she is broken.

In these thoughts there is absolutely no security

a mind normally consumed by detail was clouded by uncertainty and overwhelming amounts of raw and sharp emotions.

_Know that when you leave _

_Know that when you leave _

_By blood and by mean _

_You walk like a thieve _

_By blood and by mean _

_I fall when you leave _

she was drowning

each breath felt as if she had nails in her chest and lungs

_So tell me when you hear my heart stop, _

_You're the only who knows _

Guilt is one emotion she does not wish to push on others, regardless of how much pain they have caused

therefore as much pain as she felt she could not bring herself to escape in a manner that would cause guilt…a gunshot perhaps, although it's the preferred method -quick, it has to be thrown out…as well as the other means to ending things quickly….she knew that she had to do something an autopsy would not easily detect.

_Tell me when you hear my silence_

_There's a possibility _

_I wouldn't know _

maybe its not perfectly fair, but they will move on

they'll move on and everything would be nothing again - which is what I long for

everything meant too much right now, it needed to mean nothing so it won't hurt so much…and this is the only action that can make it nothing…make life nothing.

_Tell me when my sigh is over _

_You're the reason why I'm close_

Slowly she raised the glass and brought it to her lips taking the first sip. The neon liquid is sweet, which is half expected from research but part of it must be the knowledge of the release it will bring. Either way it is not difficult to swallow the contents in full.

_Tell me if you hear me falling_

_There's a possibility_

_It wouldn't show _

Before cleaning the empty glass and putting it away she takes a moment to glance at herself in the mirror.

She did not expect to be here but is not sad in this moment. no, not sad at all, she feels more peacefully contemplative than anything…

_By blood and by mean_

_I fall when you leave _

Quickly she moves to her bedroom, pulling back the blankets and sliding in.

The physical pain will be intense but will end after a few hours, whereas the metaphorical pain will last forever.

_By blood and by mean_

_I follow your lead_

The first wave of nausea hits but she does everything in her power to resist and remains in bed

The pain is excruciating and she can't even think

Just as she convinces her brain to focus more on her emotional pain her lately neglected phone begins to blare from the nightstand beside her bed

A/N: yeah i know y'all expect more than that but I honestly just needed to get my own feelings out. I didn't use names for a reason. I am putting this offer out there if you wish to take this story and run with it then do so, because I am not writing anymore on it.


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